Baseball's confused wild card system

Dear Joel,

By now, the New York Mets would've clinched their division with only 84 wins (in reality, they clinched last weekend with 88). In the NL Central, it took 100 wins out of 159 games for the Cardinals to clinch theirs. The Chicago Cubs, who have the third best record in all of Major League Baseball and would've clinched any other division by now, are sitting at third in their own division, and will have to participate in the (totally un-baseball-like, and irrefutably unfair) win-or-go-home wildcard playoff game next week. And then there's the Pirates -- a 96-win team who has to settle for second place, and could very well be knocked out after a single postseason game. Why? Because the Cubs have a pitcher named Jake Arrieta, who doesn't give up runs. Like ever.

Earlier this week (Monday, to be specific) was the 4-year anniversary of the greatest single day in regular season sports that I have ever experienced. It was the final day of the 2011 baseball season, and this was before there were 2 wild card teams in each league. The wild card spots were undetermined, and there were 4 games across MLB that would have an impact on who would get them. There's a great story from Tom Verducci about that night that you can read HERE. If you'd like to watch a 45 minute documentary on what transpired that night, you can watch it HERE.

So as the 2015 season winds down, I wanted to briefly explain why the new(ish) format of having 2 wild card teams in each league who play a single game to determine who gets to play in the LDS is stupid.

First, baseball is a 162-game season made up exclusively of series against other teams. Except for make-up games that might be necessary due to rain-outs, teams always play each other in mostly 3- or sometimes 4- (and, much more rarely, 2-) game series throughout the season. Teams are built around the ability to win 2 out of 3 games against a given opponent. It's a sport in which the best teams in the league lose at least 54 games (or 1/3) every year. In fact, the best team in the league this year has lost 59 (and could end up losing as many as 62). It's ridiculous and contrary to the make-up of the season itself to then tell a postseason team that they have only ONE chance to earn a spot in a postseason series. It'd be like having the first NFL playoff round consist of only 2 quarters. Or a playoff hockey game that's only 1 period.

Second, 4 years ago when I watched those games play out and teams were fighting for a wild card spot, it was riveting, because winning meant you could extend your team's life at least 3 more games (the divisional series is best-of-5). In today's system, those teams would be fighting only to extend their lives at least 1 more game. There's less excitement in clinching a "wild card spot" that might only be a single game.

Third, the seeding system is a little messed up. Pre-2012 when there was 1 wild card per league, the wild card team would play the team with the best record in each respective league, unless those two teams were in the same division. That could partly protect two really good teams from one division from having one of them eliminated in the first postseason round. In today's system, either the Mets or the Dodgers (who are 4 and 5 games behind the Central division's 3rd-place Cubs, respectively) will for sure end up in the National League Championship Series. Meanwhile, only one team out of the NL Central division (who has the top 3 teams in all of baseball) will make it to that series.

I understand the arguments in favor of the current system. There is incentive to win the division, because otherwise you have to burn your #1 pitcher in order to win the play-in game. I understand that more fan bases can get excited about the postseason because there's a whole other team who makes the playoffs in each league. I understand that MLB makes more money by having another game, and the accompanying hype and ratings that come with it. But based on the design of the sport and the season, it just doesn't make sense.

Maybe one of these days I'll be foolish enough to explain why instant replay in baseball is terrible for everyone...

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NFL Quartz Ball

First of all, I know it doesn't make much sense, but I completely agree with you about the AFC and the DH in baseball. I don't know that I had ever consciously made the connection in my own mind before, but as I read your reasoning for disliking the AFC, it was like words were being put to my own thoughts.

Secondly, as I've grown in love for baseball over the years, my NFL fandom has abated somewhat. I pay almost no attention to the goings-on in football during the offseason. Usually, for the first 3-4 weeks of the NFL season, I'm still learning about big-name players who are no longer on the teams I thought they played for. Instead, spring, summer and fall are spent paying attention to baseball. I can tell you the name of just about every player in MLB who made an impressive defensive play last night, and which pitchers have the most wins... but I'm still not sure if the Raiders won last week.

Having said all of that, you asked for my NFL predictions, so I'll give them to you. However, I'm only giving you division, conference, and Super Bowl champions.

AFC North

Pittsburgh - they always seem to come around at some point.

AFC South

Indianapolis - the Titans could give 'em a run for their money, though.

AFC East

New England - it pains me to say it, but it's true.

AFC West

Denver - I think Peyton is finally declining enough to not be sure about this pick.

NFC North

Green Bay - because seriously, who else in the North is going to challenge them?

NFC South

Atlanta - I agree with you. It's the year of Matt Ryan.

NFC East

Dallas - possibly just wishful thinking, without Tony and Dez. Weak division this year helps, though.

NFC West

Seattle - I don't love this team, but they're significantly better than the alternatives.

AFC Champs

New England Patriots - for the record, I hate this prediction more than all of the rest.

NFC Champs

Green Bay Packers - I really hope I'm wrong and that when Dez Bryant makes an obvious catch this year, it'll stand.

Super Bowl Champs

Green Bay Packers - I just can't bring myself to admit that the Pats might win. Again.

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The NFL Crystal Ball

It's week two so I have an advantage.

I'm going to get the AFC out of the way.  I don't like the AFC.  I think it's because, get this, no really, this is actually my reason I think, I hate the designated hitter.  Really, the DH is not for people who love baseball, it's for people who love action movies.  Since the DH is an American league thing and the AFC is the American Football Conference, I don't like the AFC.  Sorry AFC.  It's unjustified, but that is the depth of my disdain for the DH.  My hatred for the DH actually carries over into an entirely different sport.

AFC East:
1. New England
2. Buffalo
3. Miami
4. New York (Jets)

AFC West:
1. Denver
2. San Diego
3. Kansas City
4. Oakland

AFC South:
1. Indianapolis
2. Texans
3. Jacksonville
4. Tennessee

AFC North:
1. Baltimore
2. Pittsburgh
3. Cincinatti
4. Cleveland

Thoughts?  Not really because I don't care.  I think the AFC is incredibly week.  The AFC North might be the closest division.

At the end I have the playoff seeds:
1. Indianapolis
2. New England
3. Denver
4. Baltimore
WC 1. Buffalo
WC 2. Pittsburgh

AFC championship
Indianapolis over New England


Alright, the important league...the one that matters.

NFC East:
1. Dallas
2. Philadelphia
3. Washington
4. New York (Giants)

Notes: If Tony Romo didn't break a bone tonight Dallas wins hands down and takes the NFC 1 seed. But they will barely make the playoffs by winning the division by riding on the defense and the fact that Philadelphia is highly over rated and Washington and New York are terrible.  Lucky for Dallas Romo will get healthy just in time to ride into the playoffs with some momentum.

NFC West:
1. Seattle
2. Arizona
3. St. Louis
4. San Fancisco

Notes: Ugh, Seattle again.  They're so annoying, but they are truly good.  They will win.  Arizona will see a resurgence from their old geezer receiver Larry Fitzgerald and they will give Seattle a run for their money.  St. Louis is going to annoy them both by being better than they've been in a long time, but not yet good enough.

NFC South:
1. Atlanta
2. New Orleans
3. Carolina
4. Tampa Bay

Notes: Matt Ryan is going to have a career year.  He is going to move himself up into the upper tier of quarterbacks this season.  Drew Brees is still Drew Brees and will throw for a billion yards.  Cam Newton is still on a bad team.  Too bad for him.  He's pretty good.

NFC North:
1. Green Bay
2. Minnesota
3. Detroit
4. Chicago

Notes: Green Bay is a very good team and Aaron Rogers really wants it.  Minnesota will find a groove and Teddy Bridgewater breaks out thanks to the addition of A.P. and proves he's got what it takes.  Detroit gets three because they aren't Chicago.  Chicago gave all their mojo to the Cubbies and suck so bad they could be mistaken for them from years past.  They're terrible.

Playoffs:
1. Green Bay
2. Seattle
3. Atlanta
4. Dallas
WC 1. Minnesota
WC 2. Arizona

NFC Championship Dallas over Atlanta

Superbowl Dallas over Indianapolis

Your turn.

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The Big Game

Dear Joel,

I was going to begin by apologizing for missing my post last week, but it appears you've missed your posts for the last two weeks, so maybe I don't need to.

If I'm not mistaken, today is your 10th wedding anniversary, so CONGRATULATIONS to you and your wonderful wife, Pam. I was thinking about you both yesterday because I have a co-worker who is irritated that he has to attend a friend's wedding this Saturday. His irritation is based on the fact that the wedding ceremony is taking place right in the middle of the Iowa vs. Iowa State football game. It made me chuckle, remembering a certain college roommate of mine who was similarly irritated with you 10 years ago for scheduling your wedding on the day of the game as well.

The Iowa vs. Iowa State game is like a state holiday around here. Except, unlike most other holidays, there's a whole fan base whose day will be ruined by Saturday night.

So, 10 years ago you got married on the day of the big game, and today, you celebrate 10 years of marriage on another big football day. The NFL season begins with the Steelers vs. Patriots game this evening. Since becoming a bigger and bigger baseball fan over the last few years, I've paid less and less attention to the NFL's offseason. Therefore, I really have no idea who is supposed to be good and who is supposed to be bad this year.

So I turn to you. I want to hear your predictions for all 8 division champions, both conference champions, and eventual Super Bowl champions this season. Maybe I'll give you a prize if you guess mostly correctly.

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Is this called having a fetish?

Dear Joel,

In a few hours I'll be on a flight to Connecticut to have an on-site meeting with one of my customers. It's my fourth trip to the same location in the last 12 months. I like traveling, but I've discovered that I don't love it when it's for work. Having said that, I think I'd enjoy traveling for work a little more if I got to visit a different customer now and then.

But enough complaining. You asked for interests of mine that I've picked up since college. I've been racking my brain for a few days now on that question, and I really can't think of much. I still play euchre when I can. I love playing slow pitch softball. I love watching baseball. I think I watch more documentaries now than I did then, but that's largely due to the existence of Netflix.

I still watch The West Wing, though. Because some things never change.

Speaking of TWW, let me ask you a question about that show. In the fourth season there's an episode called Arctic Radar and in it, Josh Lyman explains to a new employee why she can't wear her Star Trek button around the office, even though, as she explains, it symbolizes duty and honor and loyalty and those characteristics should be celebrated at the White House. 

Josh says, "I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do, and tell me if any of this sounds familiar: 'Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again.' That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. And I don't have a problem with that, except you can't bring your hobbies in to work, okay?"

I happen to know that there are a lot of people who treat TWW exactly like the "fetish" Josh describes there. I know that because I'm borderline one of them. Do you think the show's writer, Aaron Sorkin, knew that about his own show when he wrote it? And if so, do you think he was trying to send a message to superfans that they shouldn't dwell on it too much? And if so, am I ignoring that message right now?

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Four Eyes

Dear Jake,

I have to start by saying that your response to my question from my previous post leaves me wondering if you understood the tongue-in-cheek nature with which I was asking.  I was not-so-subtly hinting that I think it would be wonderful if you, your wife, and my niece moved over my way.  Though it's in all ways selfish I do think that there are good reasons for you to consider it.

I also want you to know that while I wouldn't say that there is a single correct way to educate a child I do think that there are superior ways.  Your cynicism for public school is not unfounded.  I too know many godly men and women from a wide variety of education backgrounds and would agree that parental involvement and education at home is easily the most important part of the process.  After all, I was raised in a public school and while I don't consider myself "godly" I do consider myself a Christian who is very much in love with my Savior Jesus Christ.  Here's the thing though.  2015 looks A LOT different than 1988 did within the public sector. 

I remember Mrs. Bradfield kept a cord of three strands complete with matching proverb hanging on her wall.  I remember her talking about why it was there and unabashedly declaring her devotion to Jesus in the classroom.  It was a different time.  None of that is okay now.

But the education can be good and that's why they're there.  I can teach them who God is.  I certainly wouldn't leave it up to a school teacher anyway.

Maybe.  Maybe.  Remember though, I've worked with Jr. and Sr. high school students now for 10 years and I have learned a lot about education and let me tell you this.  We have turned our schools into a place where mediocrity is celebrated while success and extraordinary are pinned down and held back.

But that's not why public school is the last resort for me.  Honestly, there are many private schools that are just expensive places to do the same thing.

My biggest concern is something called world view.  I think that we all are born into this world with distorted vision.  It's imperfect.  Everything we learn becomes something that we see.  We even talk like that right?  You hear someone say, "...well the way I see it..."  They say that because they "see" truth but that truth is distorted or imperfect.  This is where I think Christian education isn't just a good option for Christians.  I actually put more weight on it than that.  I believe that Christians, if they have any choice at all, SHOULD choose Christian education. This is because I think our job is to help our covenant children put on the glasses of the Gospel so that they can correct that distored vision.  All things, all truth, should be viewed through The Word or...you know...Jesus.  The best philosophy (christian or otherwise), the best science, the best history, the best literature (christian or otherwise), the best music, art, etc... should be seen through the lens of the Gospel. I think that a private Christian school does that better than public schools (basically because public schools don't do it at all) and I DO think that it is so important that it's okay to tell other Christians that it's something they should do if they have any choice at all.  Scripture speaks a lot to this, but I think it's summed up pretty much when Jesus claims that he is the truth and, simply put, if that's true, then the truth isn't taught at public schools.  At least not anymore.

Notice I haven't mentioned homeschooling.  That's because I think that homeschooling is a great option for Christian education.

Notice that I didn't mention Classical Christian education.  That's because it's not about the classical part.  I do love it and I'd love to share why and perhaps I will someday, but not today.

Can Christians still go to public schools and come out on the other side as Christians?  Absolutely!

Can Christians still go to Christian school and come out on the other side and walk away from their faith?  Absolutely! 

As mentioned before I've been a part of students' lives for a long time.  I have had students from both public school and Christian school.  100% of the time the one from the Christian school had a deeper understanding of who Jesus is, what He said, and how science, math, history, art, music, etc... fit into who He is than those who went to one of the best public schools in the state.  This doesn't make them any MORE Christian, but it does give them a head start as they continue to go deeper in their faith.  Actually, there are certain families that are incredibly serious about their faith, incredibly faithful to the church, they pray together, read scripture together, and you know that their children have been raised to know Jesus well.  I can't tell you how often in our discussions the Christian school kid and the public school kid come to the same conclusion about issues.  Only one of them, however, can usually tell you "why" they came to that conclusion.  I want my kids to know the why.

You have some time, and you're brilliant.  You always have been.  You will choose the right education for your child and if you choose public school, I will just assume that you know better than me, because you probably do.  Even though it's a ways out for you (blink and it'll be here) I want to strongly encourage you to look at Christian education.

To answer your question about a game night, card night, or other night that I hang out with guys, my answer would be yes...I think I do.  Pretty much every Wednesday night I get together with 3 other guys and we share our lives together and when the church clears out, go plug in guitars and drums and see how loud we can get before we get a headache in our old age.  A regular card night consisting of euchre, drinks (Diet Pepsi of course...since mom will probably read this), and tortilla chips with bean dip has always been on my radar and perhaps, if one of my brothers would move this way, it would come to fruition.

Here is a question for you, what is a new hobby or interest that you have picked up after college that I might be interested in but don't know it yet?

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I'm Edumacated

Dear Joel,

There's an episode of The West Wing in which Sam Seaborn says, "Education is the silver bullet. Education is everything. We don't need little changes, we need gigantic, monumental changes. Schools should be palaces. The competition for the best teachers should be fierce. They should be making six-figure salaries. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge to its citizens, just like national defense."

I like Sam, so I want to forget for a moment that he's kind of a moron in this case. I also want to forget that he somehow thinks national defense is "free" to American citizens. As though the almighty government just has money that has graciously rained down upon it by the benevolent God (who, by the way, you're not allowed to talk about at those schools Sam loves so much) of Liberalism. I want to briefly turn off my BS meter, which flashes brightly and boldly every time someone in politics talks about Americans receiving something for free (and though you may think BS stands for bull sh*t, it could, in this case, just as easily stand for Bernie Sanders).

So, forgetting all of that, let's talk about education, because you asked me when I'm going to move to a part of the state that has a classical Christian school.

I have to start by saying I don't think there is a single "correct" way for Christians to educate their children. There are public schools, private schools, private Christian schools, classical Christian schools, homeschooling, and probably other options I don't even know about. Every community is different. Every school is different. Every kid is different. I have no interest in telling anyone that the "only way" to raise up a Godly child is to enroll them in a certain kind of school. I believe that, primarily, because I know Godly men and women from a wide sampling of educational backgrounds. To me, it's much more important to raise your child in a Godly household than it is to bicker about the right kind of school.

I should also say that my only kid is still four months away from being born, so I have no expertise or experience with raising kids, and I also have several years before my wife and I need to make educational decisions.

I said early on that I wanted to talk about education, but my disclaimers have filled up so much space that I feel like I can only summarize my thoughts now with a few sentences. So here they are:

I'm very interested in classical Christian education, and with my limited research and understanding of the options, that might be the one I would vote for if I had to choose today. Unfortunately, as you pointed out, we don't have one here in Ames, and I don't know if I'd be able to move somewhere else with that as the primary reason. I also really like the idea of homeschooling, except I'd be jealous if Elizabeth was the one who got to teach our kids. The only alternative, though, would be for me to quit my job so I could homeschool our kids, and Elizabeth would have to bring in all our family's income. My current preferences for Christian or homeschool education primarily come from the cynicism I have about government-run schools. As I said above, I don't think it's a make-or-break issue. I probably have (or will have) nieces and/or nephews who attend public schools, and I fully support my siblings' discernment in how they choose to educate. If my kid was turning 6 this year, though, and I had to make a decision about her education, I still wouldn't answer hypotheticals.

And you thought you were gonna get an answer out of me.

Do you have a standing poker night with friends every month or every quarter? Do you have a card club? Other than your connection group (or whatever your church calls them), do you have any regularly occurring hang-out nights with friends?

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I'm Back

Dear Jake,

I know I've been absent from here for awhile.  I'm back and I'm better than ever.  Okay, probably not better than ever.

I'm so thrilled that you are having a baby girl.  Actually, I'm thrilled that you are are having a baby.  The fact that it is a girl is exciting in its own right though.  It's true I have experience with both boys and girls.  One thing I've learned is that every single kid is different and while girls are most definitely different than boys I wouldn't dare try to tell you what to expect as far as personality.  You didn't ask that though, you just asked for my experience so here goes.

Kid #1 - Boy - Named Gabriel

As a baby Gabriel was pretty chill.  He had a fussy time in the evening about an hour before we'd put him down for bed.  He could play independently for hours at a time.  He would sort things and put things in order even before he could ever talk.  He would sit and listen to you read books for as long as you would.  He would listen to Chronicles of Narnia and Little House on the Prairie as well as he'd listen to "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie".  He always wanted to take things apart and put things back together.

All of this makes it sound like he was some brilliant genius.  I just think his personality has always been one of problem solving and sort of "engineer" like.  He's a smart kid, but he's not any prodigy.  He is going to be a learner for life though...I think.

Kid #2 - Boy - Named Micah

As a baby Micah was really laid back.  Honestly the kid would just sit and suck his thumb and watch out the window.  Looking back I think he was creating a plan on how to best scare the shiznit out of his parents.  His thumb acted as a plug.  We were really worried that he'd suck it forever.  Pam told him he needed to stop sucking his thumb.  He did.  In an act of the most incredible self discipline in any human of any time ever he stopped sucking his thumb right then and there.  He never ever did it again.  As the thumb was removed from his mouth the talking began.  Micah has no regard for danger and is nearly impossible to punish.  He is borderline indestructible.  He has a very soft heart that will climb the tallest most dangerous mountain, swim the deepest sea, and fight the entire mafia if it means saving a kitten or ground squirrel or mouse or bat or any other tiny creature that is deemed cute.  He is also an eternal optimist.

Kid #3 - Girl - Named Zaley

As a baby Zaley was easy.  She wanted to be held and she wanted to watch what was going on.  Like the others she loved being read to.  She had (has) a very "sunny" disposition.  Almost always upbeat.  Zaley was a climber.  She always ran to the middle of the action.  If I was wrestling the boys, she was wrestling as well.  Nothing was going to keep her out of the fun.  Baby Zaley has been a bit of a whirlwind.  When we added a third child to the mix things began to get foggy.  For us, I think this was the biggest adjustment.  Zaley was always smiling and grinning and laughing and that is a good thing because it could have been way harder than it was.

Kid #4 - Girl - Named Eva

Maybe the devil.  Here are two reasons I believe this to be true.

1. The kids were playing in the play room downstairs.  Pam was in the kitchen and I was in the living room.  The doors to all rooms are supposed to remain shut.  One of the boys had left their door open.  Suddenly we hear a slight thump and a loud grunty scream and a cry that had hints of fear and determination mixed in (yes you will learn all the subtle differences in cries.  They are real and they are important).  Pam and I both dropped what we were doing and ran into the boys room.  As we fly into their room we see Eva hanging by her hands from the top rung of the ladder that goes up to Gabriel's bed.  She had decided to climb it, it slipped a little, she slipped off but caught herself.  Fighting off heart attacks we grabbed her.  She has the strength of an ox.

2. Tonight at bed time she decided she didn't want to sleep.  We've done some sleep training with her and she's been going to bed pretty well.  We have a routine where we rock with her, read to her, then sing some hymns to her.  Then we lay her in her crib still awake and just leave her in there.  At first she'd cry a minute or two and then go to sleep.  Now just generally just goes to sleep.  Not tonight.  Nope, she screamed angrily.  We did the sleep training thing where you wait 5 minutes then go pick her up, quiet her, then lay her back down and leave.  She screamed.  We waited 10 minutes.  She screamed.  Suddenly we hear a thud and the loudest most angry scream you've ever heard.  Hearts in our throats we run into the room to find her on her floor having hurdled the side of her crib.  Turns out she won.  Now she's trying to eat baby carrots that are next to my computer.

She is Gabriel's curiosity x10.  She is Micah's disregard for life threatening danger x10.  She is Zaley's sweet loving personality x10.  There is nothing subtle about Eva.  She is one thing that none of the rest of them were though.  She's a little shy.  She does not like crowded rooms full of people.

I definitely feel different about my girls than my boys.  I could drop stereotypes but I don't know if they are true necessarily.  Zaley is for sure more interested in accessories and hand bags and all things feminine.  I don't particularly try to bring out that part of her, but I encourage her to be feminine.  I would think it was at least somewhat natural that she would love ponies and having her nails painted.  I think it's dangerous to jump to too many stereo types right away too.  Zaley and Eva both are every bit as rough as the boys sometimes.  The boys seem to be more naturally inclined to pursue physical means by which to accomplish things.  The girls are willing to go there though.  We try and will continue to try to teach our boys what it means to be men of God and our girls what it means to be women of God.  We won't shy away from that.  I believe it's part of our job as parents.  I think sometimes our culture, both Christian and secular, have done a fine job of screwing up God's definition of male and female.

I do think it's important that I raise my girls to appreciate their femininity.  My desire for my girls is that they would place their identity firmly in Christ and that they would be confident in that.  I want them to know my love so strongly that they have no desire to pursue it from other men.  I want Godly men to seek them out and for them to know what that man looks like, then to love him well.   I want them to know their beauty comes from being one of God's beloved.  I want them to also know that their dad thinks that they are absolutely beautiful.

I have no idea what your girl will be like.  She WILL be amazing though.  You don't have to worry about that.

So when are you going to decide that having at least one set of grandparents close by and a classical Christian school nearby are important enough that you would move so that those things could be true in your life?  Just wondering.

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A Little Girl

This post is a day late because I wanted to write about my daughter and I hadn't told mom and dad yet that I have one.

The other day, as you know, Elizabeth and I found out that the baby she's due to deliver at Christmas time is a girl. I've been a little terrified ever since. I don't have a lot of experience with raising girls. I've never actually raised boys either, but I've been around it a lot more.

Fortunately for me, I've got a brother who has experience with both. So teach me a little bit. How have your girls been different from your boys? What things do you worry about with your girls that you don't have to worry about with your boys? What's better about your girls than your boys? And let's see if you can answer any of these questions while realizing that someday both your boys and girls might read your answers!

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The Fundamentals

Dear Joel,

I play on a city rec league softball team with some co-workers, and it's a lot of fun. Our last regular season games are this evening, so softball is on my mind.

I said that it's fun to play on this team, and it is. However, it's also extremely frustrating to me.

You and I grew up with a great baseball coach, who happened to be our father. He coached fundamentals almost exclusively. I don't remember working too much in baseball practice on anything other than fundamentals. We worked on base running and bunting on offense. We worked on backing each other up, communicating effectively, hitting the cut-off man, and situations on defense. We worked on keeping our butts down and making sure -- above all else -- that we kept the ball in front of us on defense. We both played on pretty good ball teams all the way through high school, and I'm sure we both agree that it was largely due to having been coached on nothing but fundamentals for the first 14 years of our lives.

It's taken me a long time to realize that most people who play adult rec league softball had no such upbringing.

We have some incredibly athletic people on our team, but they repeatedly do things on the field that I just can't understand. Our outfielders rarely throw the ball to the cut-off man. Half the time they don't even throw it in right away. They stand there with the ball waiting to see which base the runner is going to try for. Almost all of them regularly use the "do-or-die" method of fielding grounders in the outfield. This is the method where they'll try to scoop it off to the side in order to be in a good throwing position, so they can field it and throw someone out in one smooth motion. But 90% of the time they don't cleanly field the ball because of this method. And when an outfielder lets a ground ball get by him, a single or a double turns into a home run quite easily.

Our brother, Jase, who didn't play nearly as much baseball growing up as you and I did, plays on our team too. It's fascinating to me to watch him play, because even though he lacks the experience (and the athleticism of many of the guys on our team), he's every bit as valuable. Just having been around the game a lot growing up, and being a very smart guy in general, has produced in him the appropriate instincts and head knowledge. He makes plays that the super athletic guys on our team who played college football don't make -- because he uses his head.

To you and me, backing someone up, or hitting a cut-off man, or dropping your butt and staying in front of a grounder is all second nature. It's instinct. For most (it turns out), it's really not. As someone who struggles to be patient with others even in the best of situations, playing softball each week has become quite the test.

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Random Thoughts - I'm like Thomas Sowell

Dear Joel,

Today I've got some random thoughts.

This morning, as a follow-up to my post last week, I took a step toward public expression of my views on an important moral and political issue by sharing a Rand Paul press release about a bill he is co-sponsoring that will prohibit the federal funding of Planned Parenthood.

Yesterday Jase and Rachel loaned us their pocket fetal doppler so that we can listen to our unborn child's heartbeat whenever we want. We actually couldn't find it last night in our first attempt, but we'll probably try again tonight. We'll find out whether it's a boy or a girl in a couple of weeks!

I injured my shoulder playing softball last week on a head-first slide (I was safe). We play again today and I'm hoping I'm up to it.

Do you ever find yourself wondering what you're going to do with your life, and then you realize that you're over 30 years old, and you're actually already doing it? I like my job, but I don't know that it's something I will continue to do for the next 30 years, I've been thinking lately about how it'd be really fun to write a series of blog posts about historical events as they relate to movies about those events. So, for example, I could write about the Battle of Thermopylae and highlight what the movie 300 got right and wrong. One of the challenges would be writing with the appropriate tone. I mean, I love movies, and every time some know-it-all hears me say I like the movie Rudy and proceeds to chime in with, "That's not how it really happened, you know..." I just want to punch him in the face. We all know that's not how it really happened. So I wouldn't want to come across as such a know-it-all. But I think I could praise the movies and use them as entry points to discuss the actual historical events -- which, while probably less dramatic and without perfectly happy endings all the time, are pretty entertaining themselves!

Then again, I don't know how that could make me any money. And I do have a growing family to support...

Are you back from your hiatus yet? When can we expect another post from you?

Edit: I hadn't seen your post from yesterday yet. Apparently that answers my above question.

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Sound the Trump-et!

Jake,

I've had a crazy month.  One minute it was like, July 3rd and we were getting ready for Emily Lang (now Romero)'s wedding.  I closed my eyes for a second and now it's July 29th and we're moving into August.  I want to briefly fill you in on some of the things that went down this month, but first I will respond to your last post.

I wrestle with it a lot.  The idea of getting noisy.  I wrestle for a few different reasons.  I agree that it seems like the noisy whiners and complainers are the ones who are taking over the culture and leading us into certain doom.  I adamantly disagree with some of the things that our society is falling for hook line and sinker.  To anyone that is willing to talk to me, I'll tell them that I disagree and why.  I have had many conversations with people who will post pictures, sayings, quotes, articles, and memes on their facebook page that I disagree with.  In the 3-4 instances where I've found myself in conversations with those people IRL it turns out that they don't have a clue what they are talking about.  They have absolutely no response to logic and common sense.  Without a screen to hide behind and a group of like-minded (loose term since often there really isn't a 'mind' to speak of) they can't support a single argument.  They are loud online and quiet as a church mouse when confronted on their beliefs and challenged to answer the ever important question, "Why?"

I'm part of a Facebook group called Nerd Fighters.  It's the "adult" version of the group.  I joined this group awhile ago because I wanted to keep tabs on what way the internet culture is leaning on things and what things are lighting the fires among the GIANT subculture of social media dwellers.

Just a little background on Nerd Fighters:  NerdFighteria is an online subculture founded by Hank and John Green who are YouTube and Social Media GIANTS.  They are also now giants in other things.  John Green is also the author of such books as "The Fault in Our Stars", "Looking for Alaska", and "Paper Towns".  Truth be told, I've read his teenage angst filled books and can honestly say, I think his books are popular because of his online fame, not because they are awesome.  I like his books, but I also like a lot of things that are not best sellers.

NF slogan is DFTBA or Don't Forget To Be Awesome.  The goal of the group is to decrease world suck by being awesome.

This is a noble goal and one that I believe the group strives for.  However, if you think about it, the goal is pretty vague.  No one ever takes time to determine what is actually world suck and what is awesome.  This leads to a lot of problems that I think represent much of what we are wrestling with.  This group of people is almost exclusively left leaning.  Because of this anyone that leans right isn't someone who disagrees with them...they are certifiably insane.  Do you see how that works?  They are so convinced that their viewpoint is normal and right that if you disagree, you are an idiot not worthy of speaking or thinking.  The following is an example post...which I could pick out about 3 a day that support my claim.

I apologize for the terrible language used, but it works toward my point.  This was posted in response to an article about Donald Trump...who btw is like...the worst enemy of this group. 

OMFG... I... *seething* ..... Can someone please explain to me how this incompetent (multiple bankruptcies), myopic, self-important, arrogant, misogynistic, racist, homophobic, allround bigoted c*nt (pardon my language, but really.. Can you blame me?) is even ALLOWED a fucking equal platform???

And don't start shitting me about free speech. It's not free speech when you are preaching hate and ignorance or denying basic facts or rights (like consent). Free speech ends when it starts affecting other people negatively.
Also, free speech does NOT mean your bullshit deserves the taken seriously or that you won't get flack for it.

I want to answer this person's question and point out...as if I have to...about how this is a completely self-righteous and hypocritical post.

Q: How is Donald Trump allowed an equal platform?
A: Since you are a part of "adult" nerd fighters I will assume you've taken American government and understand the qualifications for someone to run for office.  You don't have to agree or like him.  You are even allowed to hate him.  By being an American in America, however, he is allowed an equal platform.  Let's not forget that our current president, one which you likely voted for if you were old enough to vote last election, still has many questions regarding his legal qualifications for president.  Donald Trump doesn't have these mysteries surrounding his qualifications.  The fact that you would even question how he is allowed to have an equal platform tells me that our education system has failed you, you are ignorant, and you are not really being very American.

Also, free speech doesn't end when it starts negatively affecting other people.  If that were true Facebook would cease to exist and this post would be flagged.  I hate this post because it shows me that our education system has failed, you are ignorant, and you are not really being very American.  That makes me sad and angry.  Both are negative feelings.

Also, I don't think that Trump is under any notion that he won't get flack for what he says.  If you don't think it deserves to be taken seriously, why are you taking it so seriously?

So my conclusion to all of this is that you can't be louder.  You could try, but then you are stooping to their level.  I could have written the previous paragraphs in the comments, but would it have fixed anything?  No.  In fact, it may have gotten flagged and taken down for being hateful.

What can you do?  I think the answer lies in making sure you know Jesus intimately and start seeing people through his eyes.  You are right to be assured that the church is not being threatened by our culture right now.  In fact, in all places other than North America and Europe, the church is growing wildly.  Gosh, it even looks like we may start seeing growth again in Europe.  Especially Eastern Europe.

It's okay to hate the culture, but never start hating the people.  On the way to and from Colorado Pam and I read through the first 400 years of Christianity.  If I learned anything it's this.  God's church will grow exactly how God wants it to.  He doesn't need you to grow it and even better, you aren't going to mess it up.  He does, however, want you to see it happen and be there to see him establish his seriously upside-down Kingdom.  I for one, don't want to miss it.

Speaking of Trump, I can't say I'll vote for him, but isn't it fun that someone, somewhere, has no obligation to anything except their own mind.  I mean I personally love the fact that he can say whatever the heck he wants because he funds himself.  Cheesy ueker line time: He's got a hand full of Trump and he's going it alone.

So what are the 3 most important beliefs that a candidate holds that can sway your vote in an election?

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Hashtags

Dear Joel,

I didn't write last week. You probably noticed. Both readers of this blog have probably been wondering where you and I have been.

Well, the answer is that you've been in Colorado (I've been enjoying the pictures you and your wife have posted), and I've been here, not writing and stuff.

Today I want to talk about politics, but only sorta, and not really.

For several years now I've avoided political discussion on social media. I don't remember it being a conscious decision, but at some point I just stopped posting links and content about political or controversial things (with the exception of instant replay, or the designated hitter in baseball). Somewhere inside my head I figured out that I had matured to a certain point where I realized that political and social "discussions" on Facebook almost always turned into "arguments," and that no one ever really seemed convinced by any viewpoint that wasn't theirs to begin with anyway.

But I'm starting to wonder if I'm right.

I think our culture is in a bad spot. I think our leaders are incompetent, and our country's citizens are either wildly uninformed or shockingly immoral (or both). The intolerance of the tolerant is amazing. I think one reason for the political and religious shifts in our culture during my lifetime has been that those who promote such shifts are very vocal, Their viewpoint is everywhere. I don't want to cede all ground to those who seek (however unintentionally) to undermine and eventually destroy the freedoms - particularly the religious freedoms - of our nation. So must we be louder? Should I be posting and hashtagging all over the place for the defunding of Planned Parenthood? One of my favorite bloggers, Douglas Wilson, certainly thinks so.

Sincerely,

Jake

P.S. I don't want to sign off without mentioning that I'm not worried about the church. I've studied history and the Bible enough to know a couple of very comforting things. 1. Christianity has a wonderful track record when it comes to thriving under trial and persecution. If that's what we're headed for, the American church will be better for it. 2. God is omnipotent. As irritating as many peoples' beliefs and values are to me, they can't actually do anything to thwart God's purposes.

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The Bakers' Friend

Dear Jake,

There once was a bakery whose desire was to see everyone have delicious bread.  They knew that the food they offered was sweet to taste and to the soul and that everyone should really eat their bread.  They offered all sorts of bread. They offered donuts and cupcakes and coffee cake and friendship bread and every kind of cookie you can think of and every kind of bread you can think of.  All of their bread was good and all of it was necessary.

Their bread was so good that people came from far and wide to bake the bread.  They wanted to know the recipe.  They wanted to taste more of the bread.  Once they had tried it, they almost always wanted more.

It wasn't always pleasant to work at the bakery.  Just like anywhere the people got crabby sometimes, the work got boring and tedious sometimes, the kitchen got mighty hot at times, and there was often something breaking down.  For this reason, only the people who deeply cared about the bread and knew how good it was for them and how tasty the different types of bread really could be would regularly give their time to serve the bread.

The bakery wasn't owned.  Someone who had known the recipe and just wanted people to eat the bread had shared it.  Then a group of those who ate the bread came together and figured out the best way the knew of to get the bread into peoples stomachs.  That group of people decided to hire someone to oversee all of the people giving their time to make the bread.  His job was to learn all about the bread and sit with the group of people that was always figuring out how to get the bread to more people and to teach them about it.

When the group of people realized that all the people making the bread weren't having time to eat it themselves they hired someone to take care of the equipment that made the bread and do what he could to make all the baking people's work as simple as he could so that they too could eat the bread.  This hired person's name was Lyle.

Lyle worked hard to make sure all of his bakers were able to eat.  He kept a close eye on the kitchen and made sure things ran well.  He was well liked and the bakers tried always to make sure that he knew that he was appreciated.  After years of tending to the ovens, the stoves, the sinks, the counters, the utensils, and the other tools used for baking, Lyle noticed that their mixer was going bad.  It was impossible to find parts to fix it and it was so old you couldn't replace it directly.  Lyle thought about how to replace the mixer and knew it would be easier for his bakers to bake if they had a larger mixer with a more powerful motor.  He wasn't sure whether the board of people watching over bakery would approve but Lyle always advocated for the bakers because they were the real reason more people were coming to taste this amazing and delicious bread.

Lyle spent a lot of time researching mixers.  He called other bakeries to see what they used.  He talked to the bakers that used the mixer most.  He spent so much time researching that people jokingly started calling him the mixer expert.  After all this research Lyle finally found something that he thought would both benefit the bakers and lighten their work load and be cost effective for the bakery.  Lyle didn't know everything about the bakery's financial situation, but he knew that when you are giving away your product you don't tend to have lots of money to throw around.

The group of people that watched over the bakery did know the financial situation and had the power to make purchases so Lyle decided that he would ask for this new mixer.  After all, in Lyle's mind, the worst they could do was say no.  At least that was what he thought.  Lyle didn't attend their meetings but was good friends with the person they hired to keep them informed and sit in on their meetings with them.  So Lyle wrote an eloquent document explaining the current condition of the mixer and what he had found to be a great fit for the bakers.

The group of people got together and talked about all of the things they needed to talk about.  They kept tabs on who was regularly eating bread, who was baking bread, were people eating, but never coming in to help bake it, were people loving the bread?  Was the recipe being made correctly.  A lot of important things.  Finally the document that Lyle had written was presented to the group.

The group poured over the document.  They asked each other questions about mixers.  They were afraid to spend the money on the mixer because what if it didn't mix right?  What if it didn't mix enough?  What if it got off balance?  What if someone wanted to steal the mixer?  As the group discussed it the "what ifs" got more and more imaginative.  What the mixers color clashes with the rest of the kitchen?  What if the president calls and requests to have the mixer delivered to the White House?  What if Martha Stewart visits and hates the mixer?  What if Buffalo Bill Cody rises from the dead and goes on a personal rampage against all mixers in the county?  What if... What if... What if...

No one called Lyle to ask any of these things.

The day after the meeting Lyle asked his friend who looked after the group how things had meant.  Lyle's friend said that a few of them were going to research mixers.  One of the group was going to call other bakeries to see what they use.  One of the group was going to call the bakers that used the mixers most.  None of the group was going to call Lyle.

After a few days, one of the group called Lyle.  Lyle explained with more detail all the research that he had done.  The group member said, "It would have been nice to have you there.  You could have probably answered our questions."

After the next meeting Lyle's friend who cared for the group members came to Lyle and said, they want to buy the mixer that you suggested.  I don't know when you can buy it, but you should contact one of them and ask.

Lyle contacted a group member and was told he could purchase the mixer that day.  So Lyle did.

The End.

Can you relate to this story?

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Fictional history is almost as fun as true history

Dear Joel,

My favorite fiction book? How about three? But I'll start with a non-book.

There's a movie which I would guess anyone reading this has seen before. It's called The Princess Bride, and it is (and always has been) my favorite movie. It's hilarious. And wonderful. In the movie, a grandfather reads a book to his sick grandson.

What many people might not know is that The Princess Bride is a real book. And it's even more hilarious than the movie. It was written by William Goldman, and it's excellent.

There's another book I've read many times before that was written by a man we used to go to church with. His name is Dennis Van Wey, and his book is called Twice Upon a Time. It's a fascinating premise in which the main character, Mike, has a friend who travels back in time, and while there, disrupts a particular historical event that eventually leads to the Mike's son dying in a childhood tragedy. Mike decides to travel back in time himself in order to make sure that history happens as it "should" have.

Finally, there's a book of historical fiction by Steven Pressfield called Gates of Fire. I believe it's the book that inspired the graphic novel that inspired the film 300 about the Greek Spartans fighting Xerxes's Persian army at the Battle of Thermopylae. It's probably the best book I've ever read, and I would strongly recommend it to anyone who enjoys good literature.

Do you remember when you and I traveled to California together right after you graduated from high school? We visited our relatives all over the state. What fun things do you remember from that trip? What was your favorite part of it?

Have fun on your trip to Colorado!

Sincerely,

Jake

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'Merica

Dear Jake,

Do you ever have extremely long weekends?  I do.  I had a long weekend over 4th of July.  It was good and for the most part it was fun, but it was long.

Emily Lang got married and became Emily Romero.  Her husband is an extremely nice guy from an extremely nice family.  They are nearly all either active military or retired.  They are originally from Puerto Rico. Jose comes from a family of four boys.  The way they interact made me think of how I interact with all of you.  None of them live near each other so they don't get together often.  Their dad said they were up until 5am Friday night just laughing and joking and spending time together.

I want to do that.  My happiest times are with my brothers.  I have a very VERY full life.  I have nothing at all to complain about.  God is been so gracious to us and I fear that I often take it for granted the things I've been blessed with.  I shouldn't complain.

But I miss my brothers.  We don't hang out enough.  I want to hang out with you all.

Anyway.  I love the West Wing.  Coming up with a favorite episode can't be done.  I like the series.  Here are some good moments, but I hold none of them higher than the others.  If I was forced to choose, I may choose "In the Shadow of Two Gunman part 2".  Maybe.

I'm leaving town for awhile.  Going to Colorado and then to South Dakota.  I have written one post ahead of time.  If I have time, I'll write the others, but if you don't hear from me for awhile you'll know why.

Here's your question for next week.  What is your favorite fiction book?

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Happy Independence Day

Dear Joel,

Funny you should ask a political question. As you probably know, I tend toward the conservative side of the spectrum, which means several things. First, it means I'm ignorant, intolerant, and bigoted (although I trust you wouldn't know it from having a conversation with me!). Second, it means that when you ask for a single government program to get rid of, I find myself chuckling, because choosing one program out of the thousands of government programs that probably shouldn't exist is comical to me.

But you also know that I'm a big fan of the tv show The West Wing, which follows the fictional administration of President Bartlet, a liberal democrat.

So even though I'm ignorant and intolerant and bigoted, I believe that humans have the ability to rise above such awfulness and have productive - even positive - interactions about what's important in this world. I only hope some people who don't agree with my political views feel the same way.

I don't want to get stuck talking about The West Wing forever (ok, that's not true), but I'm interested in knowing, do you have a favorite season? A favorite episode? A favorite character?

Also, what are you doing for the holiday weekend (I suppose by the time you answer this, it will be what did you do for the holiday weekend)?

Sincerely,

Jake

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Pray for Rain

Dear Jake,

What do I do when it rains and suddenly we have a free night?

1. Redbox - two movies - one family movie - one parents only movie

2. Blanket fort - Bring the kitchen chairs out, circle them near the banister and the rocking chair - use the giant afghan Pam has - wrestle Eva and try to keep her from ruining things as fast as you can build them

3. Get out the ol' air popper and watch with the kids as the popcorn pops - toss in some Greek seasoning so that dad can have a "secret ingredient"

4. Put the family movie on and watch it in the blanket fort while eating popcorn

5. Send the kids to bed

6. Leave the blanket fort up so that you can conceal the mess underneath it for the time being

7. Watch parents only movie while snuggling on the couch

8. Go to bed but not to sleep

9. ...

10.  Sleep

What is an obsolete government program you think we should do away with and could be terminated with minimal impact on people?

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Boy or Girl?

Dear Joel,

I appreciated your post on Monday. It was full of great information. I have it bookmarked for regular reference.

Things I can't wait to do with my child? There are a lot of things, but many of them depend on whether we have a boy or a girl! 

If it's a boy, I can't wait to teach him to play baseball. And coach his teams.

If it's a girl, I can't wait to take her on daddy-daughter dates. And I'll be praying hard that she chooses softball and not soccer. Or dance.

Yes, we plan to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. I understand the surprise can be fun, and I won't entirely rule out the possibility of a surprise for a child we may have sometime down the line. But for the first one, I want people to be able to throw Elizabeth a baby shower, and not have every toy and clothing item be yellow and green (as much as we like John Deere). Plus, we're both planners. We like to be prepared. Since my understanding is that there's no way on earth to be adequately prepared for parenthood, it makes sense to me to prepare for those things for which it is possible.

If we do have some kind of a reveal party (we haven't really discussed that yet), you and your family are definitely invited. What method do you think we should use to announce our baby's gender?

Did I tell you we're planning to do a home birth? As Jim Gaffigan might say, we're making that decision "just to make you uncomfortable." So does it?

We saw the new Disney-Pixar movie Inside Out last weekend. We really enjoyed it. Clever and funny. And now I know how kids' minds work, which probably means I'll be a better parent than any parent who has ever parented before. Mark it down. It's a lock.

What do you like to do when rain and thunderstorms cancel all of your previously planned summer activities?

Sincerely,

Jake

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Coming Soon

Dear Jake,

     It's the best of times, it's the worst of times, it's being a dad time.  There is nothing on the earth as difficult and nothing as rewarding as parenthood.  It is a blessing and a curse.  It is hot and cold, up and down, left and right, perfect and imperfect, light and dark.  It sucks and it's awesome.  Welcome to the club.

     You asked for warnings. It would be impossible to create an exhaustive list but I'll give you some warnings.

• Morning sickness is poorly named.  It can just as easily be noon sickness or night sickness.
• Your wife may start running into walls.
• You may end up running to odd stores at add times of night to find odd foods for odd cravings.
• Your wife will tell you she's tired.  This isn't laziness or a plea for attention.  She's actually tired.  While the fatigue will last throughout parenting, it is especially extreme during pregnancy and the first year post part um.
• You can't really help much.  You will try.  You will fail.  Just love her and serve her.  That's the only way you can save face.
• You are done sleeping for awhile as well.  Even if your child sleeps through the night upon arriving home from the hospital, you won't sleep like you are used to for a looooooooooooong time.  I haven't for 7.5 years. 
• You will be embarrassed a lot.  Kids have a sixth sense about knowing when to say inappropriate things at inappropriate times.  It's like they can't help it.
• You will experience all types of bodily fluid.  Get used to it.
• You will find out you know nothing about parenting.  After awhile you will start to think you have things somewhat managed and maybe even a little figured out.  When you get to this point, you may think you want another child.  If you have one, you will find out you know nothing about parenting.  When you get to the point you think things are somewhat manageable with two and you go to three, the cycle ends.  You learn that you know nothing about parenting, never did, and never will.
• Very well meaning people also think that they know how to parent better than you.  Most of the time these are people without children.  Though they don't happen often, take their looks, whispers behind your back, and lack of tact with a grain of salt.  It turns out that the previous point applies to them as well.
• You start seeing your dad in the mirror more clearly every day.
• You quickly lose your long term memory.  Life before children becomes a vague recollection.  You also lose your short term memory and can't find your phone or your keys ever.
• You don't have money now, nor will you ever.
• You will get constant lessons in what sin nature actually looks like; your children's and your own.
• You will hear your mother in your head all the time.  Your kids will hear your mother through your mouth.
• You are a bigger hypocrite than you think.  Pray hard about this one.
• Your kids have a 7th sense that can detect when intimacy is on the horizon.  As soon as they detect any sign that physical affection is coming they will interrupt.  This starts as soon as they are born and it is very real.
• You will experience anger far greater than any you've ever felt before.  This applies even to those who've been successfully blamed for a fart in front of an entire classroom of people.
• They will start to read and spell.  Once they can do this there is no more hiding anything.  You can't spell anything to your spouse anymore.
• There is no place sacred anymore.  If you thought pooping or taking a shower was guaranteed alone time, think again.
• Your kids are messy and they always mess up your stuff. Often they break your stuff.  Get over your stuff.  Don't buy anything nice for the next 18-25 years.  Resist the urge!
• They will break your heart a lot.  They will tell you they hate you.  They will manipulate you.  They will sometimes treat you like garbage.  They will make you realize that you treated your parents like garbage too.

There are many more warnings.  I could honestly go all night.  But you probably need some good news right about now.  Here's some awesome things about parenting.  While the list may or may not be longer than the warnings because I'm not in the mood to write all night, know that the weight of the good is far heavier than the bad.

• Your wife will become even more attractive to you than she is even now.  Her pregnancy will reveal a whole different type of beauty that you didn't know existed.
• You will learn teamwork in a whole different way and your wife will become more important to you than she is even now.  It's a type of oneness that is so mysterious and real and good.  Nothing in this life is as rewarding as this reality. Except Jesus.
• The second you meet your child you will be introduced to a different type of love.  It's an automatic and fierce love that only comes from becoming a parent. It's awesome and scary at the same time.  You will at times want to squeeze your baby super duper hard.  Don't do it.  You could kill them.  Just hold back and squeeze them nicely.
• You get bonus happiness when your children behave and people notice and then point it out to you.
• You gain a superpower of understanding with other people's children when they misbehave in public.  If you don't gain this superpower you are just a jerk.
• Your baby will probably fart loudly during church.  If you're lucky it will be during a prayer.  You will laugh a lot and the people around you will laugh as well.  It's funny and everyone thinks so.
• As a bonus, you can blame your farts on your kids.
• They love you back.  No one in your life will probably ever love you like they do.  Even when they treat you poorly and say nasty things, they don't mean it.
• They are quick to forgive you.  They aren't this way with everyone necessarily, but with you, they will hold no grudge.
• Everything is new.  There is always a new milestone or big thing to celebrate.  It's inexplicable the joy that comes from trying their first ice cream, taking their first step, or losing a tooth.  It's a shared joy.
• Holidays are new and you get to create your own traditions.  It's super fun.
• You get to learn with them and be impressed by them.
• You can play whenever you want because they will always want to play with you.
• You get to be someone's superhero.
• Blanket forts make a comeback
• You have a great excuse to sit and watch Disney and Pixar movies.  You even get to sing along with the songs.
• If you are smart you will one day get to experience the joy of owning a min-van.  Most men don't want the mini-van, but once you have owned one you will fall in love with owning mini-vans.  They are the most comfortable and convenient vehicles ever.

 You asked if I had advice.  I hesitate to give advice because of the point I mentioned earlier about realizing that I know nothing about parenting.  Here's the thing.  You will know your child better than anyone and you will need to parent your child differently than I parent mine.  However, there are things that have worked for us that I can share with you.  Take them however you will.

• Surround yourself with gracious and encouraging people.  Seek out people that you want to be like and that you want your kids to be like.  Spend time with people that are older than you who have raised children.  Soak in their wisdom.
• Don't be afraid to sound like mom and dad.  They did a pretty good job I think.
• Take advantage of the moments you can.  Don't try to program everything.  Invest throughout the day each day.  When we started having kids people told us we should schedule a regular date night each week.  There was this pressure to spend the time and money on that.  Don't feel guilty if you can't afford to program that sort of stuff.  If you want to get away and go on a date with your wife, great!  Don't feel guilty.  If you don't want to leave your baby or your kids, great! Don't feel guilty.  There isn't a rule book and no one can tell you how to raise your children.  Except Jesus.
• You can call mom late.  She is 2 hours behind us time wise and stays up late.  Sometimes you just want to complain to her.  She gets it.  Call her.  Just don't complain about your wife.  It's not nice to your wife and mom will probably just side with her anyway.
• We love Christian education.  I encourage people to choose Christian education.  We've talked about all the reasons why.  If you don't choose Christian education, great!  Don't feel guilty.
• Give yourself time to wind down with your kids at the end of the day.  People will start telling you to enjoy every moment and that time goes by fast.  Try your best to heed that advice.  Teach your kids to live right now.  Teach them not to worry about tomorrow or regret the past.  God always is present.  Be present now.
• Pray for them all the time.  Seriously.  I know how bad a parent I am.  I daily beg God to redeem my shortfalls.  I beg him to turn my sinful spawn into righteous men and women.  This is truly mine and their only hope.
• Don't judge other parents and don't give advice until they ask for it.  Otherwise they will probably hate you.

I hope that answers your questions.  I hope you thoroughly enjoy this time right now.  I hope you enjoy every second of it.  Pam and I are both so excited for the two of you.

I'm supposed to ask a question now.  What are some of the things you just can't wait to do with your child?  Also, are you going to find out boy or girl or are you going to be surprised?  IF you find out and have a gender reveal party am I invited?  I am always in favor of the surprise though.  It's fun.

Sincerely,
Joel

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Parenthood (not the tv show)

Dear Joel,

I really enjoyed that article. I don't find it difficult to believe that underpopulation is a problem. Any time we take a clear command of God (like "be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth") and implement its direct opposite (like actually legislating against the number of kids you're allowed to have), things don't work out well for us. It's amazing to me how arrogant of a species we are.

I'm also happy to hear of your excitement for Elizabeth's pregnancy. I'm looking forward to fatherhood. Yesterday I told Elizabeth that if my kid brings home a poorly drawn picture from Sunday school or something and presents it to me as a gift, I plan to say, "Thank you so much for drawing me this picture! It's really bad, though. You probably shouldn't be an artist." It was a joke. I probably wouldn't say that. Although, when you watch movies, you see that many of life's most successful people only achieve success after a childhood of being told they weren't good enough. So maybe reverse psychology would be a decent parenting method. The more I tell my kids how bad they are at stuff, the harder they'll work to prove me wrong, and the more likely that one day I'll be the father of a billionaire. Or the father of a president.

So for the next 6 months I'll be prepping to be a dad. As someone with almost 8 years of fatherhood under your belt, what are the most important things I need to know? When Buddy the Elf leaves for New York City, Santa warns him of the realities of gum on the street (not free candy) and clubs that advertise "peep shows" (doesn't mean you get to peek at Christmas presents early). What warnings do you have for me? What bits of advice? What funny things to look forward to?

Also, just for fun, you should give me some "rejected baby names." Not necessarily names you strongly considered and then didn't use, but off-the-wall names that no sane person should ever name their kid (if one of those names is on my potential list, I'll be sure to remove it so I don't feel silly later).

Have fun.

Sincerely,

Jake

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MORE BABIES PLEASE!

Jake,

Would you think I was crazy if I said that underpopulation might be the biggest problem we face in 10 years?

We always hear about overpopulation being a big issue, but by all accounts, overpopulation is simply not a threat.  In fact we so undervalue life that we don't have enough people on the planet to sustain us economically.  I could regurgitate the facts and figures, but this article really explains the issue.  It's big, we don't hear about it, and we keep voting in life hating democrats.

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/06/15131/

So let me say thanks to you and Elizabeth for joining us in doing our part to populate the earth.  We are so very excited for you.

What are your thoughts about this article?

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In the first place...

Dear Joel,

Do you remember Fred Penner's Place? I really don't remember too much about the show, but I remember the setting. The "place" of the show's title was a sort of den in a forest, completely surrounded by trees and rocks and other natural formations, and Fred could only get in and out of it by crawling through a fallen, hollowed-out tree trunk. It was a shaded, damp, cool place that seemed to allow for complete privacy even while in the middle of the great outdoors.

When I think about a "happy place," that's the kind of place I picture. Obviously, I would want mine to be a little less fictional. And without weird puppet characters inside. But I like shade (probably because I easily burn), and I like water (I think there was a stream of some kind flowing through his "place," but if not, there would be in mine).

So when you ask, "If you could visit just one location on earth, where would it be and why?" I start asking myself where could I go that would be like that?

On the other hand, I like learning about the history of western civilization. And castles. So I'd probably pick Europe. Can Europe count as "one location on earth?"

I also like baseball. So maybe I'd just go to Fenway Park and watch a Yankees-Red Sox game.

What do you think will be the most important issue our country will be facing in 10 years?

Sincerly,

Jake

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It Could be Rocky.

Dear Jake,

Pretty soon my family will be going to Colorado for vacation.  For Gabriel's 6th birthday we went to Spain.  Micah turned 6 and wanted to go to China, but since Pam is no longer with Delta Global Services we have to pay for airfare again.  So Colorado it is.  We will be stopping in Licoln NE to pick up George and Helen who are then taking us to an exclusive cabin smack dab in the middle of National forest.  This is no ordinary cabin.  It was built sometime around the civil war.  It has no electricity or plumbing.  It has a kerosine stove and kerosine refrigerator.   We will likely be eating fish that we catch or animals we shoot.

I'm pretty excited about the trip.

Happy Monday.

If you could visit just one location on earth, where would it be an why?

Sincerely,
Joel

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Dear Joel

Dear Joel,

Besides being incredibly good looking, smart, funny, charismatic, and charming, you are a great friend.  I find it admirable that you have sired four adorable children and that your wife is smoking hot even, or especially, after said children.  I thought you should know.

Also, you play the guitar which is cool.  You also play softball and raise a healthy looking fish named rainbow.  You have very sweetly memorized the names and cutie marks of all the important My Little Ponies and you can sing along to the theme song to Phineas and Ferb without flaw.

You have written poetry and songs.  You have hit home runs and scored touchdowns.  You have seen the beaches of North Shore Hawaii and gazed upon the still leaking oil of the USS Arizona.  You have walked the bridges of London and panned for gold among the glaciers of Alaska.  You have followed the Freedom Trail and hugged Giant Sequoias.  Your travels have enlightened you.

You are so full of yourself.

Sincerely,
Joel

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Simply En Fuego

Dear Jake,

Chew on this: before May 15th the SF Giants were 18-18. Since May 18th that same team is 13-2.  They went from 3rd place in their division to first place.  I guess I shouldn't say "that same team" because they really aren't the same at all.

Baseball is the ultimate stat sport.  "Moneyball" was trendy for awhile and in some places still is.  Entire organizations are swayed by the lure of stats that lead to wins.  This makes sense, what team doesn't want to win?  I would argue however, that there are some immeasurable and intangible things that can be even more important that WIP, slugging percentage, and other stats.  I think team chemistry can make or break a season.

So what happened on May 18th that changed the team in San Francisco?

There is a man named Hunter Pence that was activated after being injured.  Almost across the board each individual player on the team has seen an increase in their stat lines since he's returned.  Maybe this is coincidence. Maybe it's just a correlation that isn't impacted by Pence.  I really believe that Pence is a fire starter on that team though.  He hustles everywhere and doesn't go a single pitch without going all in.  He dives for things, is constantly boosting his team's moral by giving crazy speeches, and takes control of the mood of their entire home stadium.  I would want to play on his team because he won't let you stay down.

Do you think that a single player can have that much of a dramatic impact on an entire team?  How important is chemistry in a locker room?  What do you think?

Sincerely,
Joel

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An Easy Choice

Dear Joel,

There's a blog I read sometimes called Wait, But Why? I subscribed the first time I read the site's subtitle: "new post every sometimes." It made me laugh.

The guy who writes it covers a wide variety of topics, and he's written a couple of posts on The American Presidents. I think right now he's completed two posts and they cover all of the presidents up through McKinley. I'm telling you this in case you want to get an overview of each American President.

I've read those two posts, and I can tell you with confidence that my favorite president is... Bill DeWitt III, President of the St. Louis Cardinals. It was an easy choice.

Choosing an American president would be a tough endeavor indeed. History is always murkier than we think it is. It's really impossible to evaluate presidents on some kind of absolute and objective criterion. So... sorry for not really answering the question in the way I'm sure you meant it. Even so, I'd love to hear your own answer to it.

I also wanted to let you know that I'll be on vacation and "unplugged" next week, so you should not expect a Thursday post. If you want, you can fill in for me. It'd be funny if you respond to your own post from Monday. Or write a short story from the point of view of a roadrunner who lives in the southwest and is constantly being chased by coyotes.

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