Stone's Throw

Dear Jake,

Did you know that I sort of have a rock band?  I mean, we are a band and we are pretty good and you would probably describe our music as rock.  All the members of the band are Christians.  There are four of us.

Dan Twigg plays guitar.  He's the best electric guitar player I've ever played with.  He's really good.

Kurt Bush plays bass.  He works his butt off on the bass and we should probably call him dad because he's the most mature of us I think.

Luke Jansen plays the drums.  He's a stud drummer.  He can play any style of music you would want.  He can even sing, even though he doesn't usually do it.

I play the keys, vocals, guitar, etc...

We do quite a few gigs in the summer time and we sometimes even get paid for them.  We are in the middle of recording our first "album" even though it is only 7 songs.  We wanted the experience of it.  We tried to record ourselves with our own equipment and got stuff recorded, but it isn't professionally mixed and mastered.  So we went to an actual studio and will be releasing a CD here in a bit.

The band's name is Stone's Throw.  If you haven't guessed, the name comes from the true story of David and Goliath.  It might seem cliche' but that story is one of my favorites in the Bible.  It's because this kid wasn't just confident in the Lord.  He was almost cocky on behalf of the Lord.  He was so sure of God's power that he smack talked a guy that was much bigger than him and intimidated an entire army of full grown men.  Even a king wouldn't stand up to him, but David was like, God can take him.  One of the best dialogues in history is in this story.  I know you've read it, but read it again.

1st Samuel 17:43-49 (NIV)

[Goliath] said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. “Come here,” he said, “and I’ll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals!”
  David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.  This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.  All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
   As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.       Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.

So the Bible doesn't bold type and underline that line, but I do.  Why?  David shows here that there was not even 1 iota of doubt in David's mind.  To him it was a done deal.  The battle was won before it was started.

Our band likes that story.  There is a part of one of our songs called "Fight" that talks about this.  The lyrics go:

A giant’s challenge doesn’t put the fear in me
Instead my soul stirs deep inside 
And with a stone’s throw I will bring him to his knees

My God’s already won the fight

We have a recording that we did on our own that you can listen to of "Fight".   Keep in mind that it is a real rough cut.  I was mixing it and I have no idea what I'm doing.  Anyway.  I've done the lyrics on all our songs with help from the band.  This song was born off the guitar lick that you hear throughout.  Dan was messing around and came up with that and I thought, "Cool!  Rock anthem coming up!"  Wrote the lyrics and boom, we had "Fight."

So I guess that's what I'd name a rock band.

So what artists/album/song do you find yourself listening to a lot lately?

Sincerely,
Joel

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Mouse Rat

Dear Joel,

I have an idea for something I might try at some point that's related to your artistic assignment for me. But you should remember the following: I'm not an artist. I mean, it might be fun to ask a fish to do a cartwheel, but we shouldn't all laugh and make fun when we see that he's not very good at it (my C.S. Lewis-like use of analogy should blow you away).

I should let you know that Elizabeth really enjoyed your post on Monday. She didn't know most of the stories surrounding the memories you shared. I'm going to provide a bit of my own commentary on a few of them... for the sake of posterity, of course.

Radio show: That Talk Boy was so much fun. We used it toward way better ends than Kevin McAllister did in Home Alone 2, for the record.

Mud Creek: I laughed when you said, "You didn't rat us out." I'm glad you think highly of me, but here's the truth: I was quite sure that I'd be in every bit as much trouble as you if the truth were brought to light. I was protecting my own hide on that one. In the moment, I just didn't know what I'd do if you guys floated away for miles (I guess I somehow thought Mud Creek = the Mississippi) and I had to find my way back through the woods alone.

Home run derby: Not only was the home run over the power lines, but the "foul poles" were where the power lines connected to the poles on either side of the street. We were playing home run derby quite literally in the street. THE STREET! I can't believe we're still alive.

Bert and Ernie: "lofted bed" made me laugh too. I think you meant "wooden board hanging 5.5 feet above the floor of the laundry room with some afghans spread across it." I can't believe we're still alive.

If you started a rock band, what would you name it? I named this post "Mouse Rat" because that's the name of Andy Dwyer's band in Parks and Recreation, and I think it's funny.

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Birthday Boy

Dear Jake,

Today is your birthday.  I'm not sure you knew that.  So I want to take a moment to wish you a very happy birthday.  It seems as you get older that fewer people care that you are a year older.  I think it is because nobody really does care that you are a year older.  But I do Jake.  I do.  I'm thankful that you were born 31 years ago.

I've got a million memories that you are a part of.  Here are just a few.

I remember doing a "radio show" on your Talk Boy when we were sitting in the car on the way to the College World Series in Omaha.  We had it recording slowly so that when played back we sounded like chipmunks.  Dad sang the Mutual of Omaha jingle on our radio show and we laughed pretty hard.  I wonder where that tape is.  I think it would be a blast to hear that again.

I remember biking around our town and collecting pop cans so that we could get a fountain drink at The Candy Kitchen.

I remember hiking way up Mud Creek with Steven Brown.  We went through mud that was up to our wastes.  Then Steven and I thought we'd float back on a raft which was really a truck topper.  We got in it and it started floating and you were on the bank yelling at us to stop.  When we both stepped over to grab a overhanging branch to stop ourselves, the topper sank.  Then we made up a lie about falling in so that we wouldn't get in trouble.  You didn't rat us out.  You were nice.

I remember playing home run derby using tennis balls and racquets.  The home run was over power lines.

I remember having Bert and Ernie as puppets.  We slept in a lofted bed and the puppet's limbs were pretty floppy.  We'd make them fall off the bed and laugh at how they landed.

I remember saving your life from a shark bite in California.  Or maybe it was a broken soap dish in the shower.  I'm not sure.

I remember doing the "I Love My Lips" skit with you at school.

I remember exploring Spring Valley while mom mowed.

I have a lot more memories involving you.  You are a pretty great brother.  Happy birthday Jake.  I hope you have a great year.

So for your blog on Thursday I want you to do something.  I had you write a haiku and it went really well.  This time I want you to create a piece of art that represents your home town.  On your blog I want you to either do a video that explains your work and why you did what you did or do some pictures of it and write about it.

That might be a tall order so if it doesn't work, write about something different, BUT at least keep it in your back pocket and do a post completing that challenge when you can.

Sincerely,
Joel Rohde

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Code Red

Dear Joel,

I'm going to be brief this morning, and kind of random.

I was watching A Few Good Men the other night. It's one of my all-time favorite movies. We haven't talked much about movies here, have we?

Anyway, when I got to the final climactic scene in which Jack Nicholson's character is on the witness stand at trial, I was reminded that even though that character is a big jerk, and he's the villain of the film, I pretty much agree with him. Or at least I mostly agree with his final speech. Do you? What other movies can you think of where the villain makes some really good points? Man, that's a great movie.

I like movies. What are some of your favorites?

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The Joely Awards

Dear Jake,

Welcome to the Joely awards.  Joel's own personal music award show where winners are determined exclusively by Joel's own personal opinion.  This will undoubtedly lead to becoming a real thing soon.

Favorite Song of 2014: Car Radio by 21 Pilots

Favorite Band of 2014: The City Harmonic

Favorite Secular Song of 2014: Wake Me Up by Avicii (it's a dumb video...)

Favorite Artist of 2014: LeCrae
Lemme explain this one.  I'm a fan of his music, but I have to get into a mindset for it.  It is deeper and more raw than anything else I listen to.  I have so much respect for this artist.  He is diving head first into places that Christians have stayed away from because we so often want to choose out of things that make us uncomfortable like art and science.    I have no specific video of his.  All of it is relevant.

I realize you didn't ask me for any of these opinions.  That's okay.  I'll talk about instruments now.

Most Important Instrument:
The piano is very difficult to master, not really portable, and can slip out of tune pretty easily.  I love the piano though.  I mean I love it.  If you are able to learn to play the piano sufficiently, you will have learned the foundations of how music works.  This means that you should be able to pick up most instruments and become sufficient with them with a little practice.  Not only that, but you can begin to write music for every western musical style under the sun.  Piano is so important to western civilization and culture.  If you want to learn an instrument, start here.

Most Convenient Instrument:
The 6 string acoustic guitar is the most convenient instrument.  You can take it almost anywhere and provide people with a rhythm and chord structure to which you can sing about any song to.  There are a million different ways to play a guitar and it isn't too terribly difficult to learn.

Most Desirable Instrument:
To play the cello is to complete a lifelong dream.  It has a beautiful tone and very wide range and good players can make it convince you of all sorts of moods.  Cellos are expensive which is the number one reason I've not learned to play it.

There you have it.

I've thought a lot about writing a story.  I want to write a fiction novel sometime in my life.  I don't really have any ideas for you though.  Maybe write a "memoir" from the perspective of Simon Peter. That'd be cool.  I'd read it.

Sincerely,
Joel



The guitar is so incredibly handy

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The Miserable Piano Oregon Boy

Dear Joel,

First of all, I loved those Billy Collins poems. My favorites were Flames and On Turning Ten. Coincidentally, the message at our church last weekend was from Colossians 1:15-20, which is one of the many great poems you can find in the Bible too. I can't believe God's never been Poel Laureate of anything.

You wanna know what music I like? Goodness sakes, that would take a book. In the words of Inigo Montoya, "No - there is too much. Let me sum up."

My musical interests vary widely. I often listen to country or Christian music in the car. If I'm setting up a playlist on Spotify, or preparing music for a long car ride, though, it's usually neither of those. I love musicals, so I listen to a lot of soundtracks. Les Miserables (the recent film version with Hugh Jackman) has an incredible soundtrack that I could listen to over and over again. I like The Phantom of the Opera, Rent, The Lion King, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I listen to my fair share of classical and other instrumental music too - I love Yo Yo Ma. Last fall Elizabeth and I snagged tickets to see The Piano Guys in Des Moines. They're very talented and extremely fun performers (which you can tell from their YouTube videos).

Last in my summary, I'll mention two specific songs that I can't stop listening to. The first is called Back O'er Oregon. Not sure what it is, but it's a song I could put on repeat all day long. The second is a song from the soundtrack of the film Black Hawk Down called Minstrel Boy. It's somehow both tranquil and chaotic; peaceful and battered.

Pretty much everything I mentioned in this post is available to listen to on Spotify, so if there's anything you're not familiar with, check it out and let me know what you think.

So, you're Mr. Music in our family, and you play 38 instruments (or something like that). What are your favorites? I mean, I know the guitar is probably what you play most, and it's really versatile, but is there an instrument that you find particularly beautiful or fun or interesting to play? Why?

P.S. I want to write a story. What should it be about?

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I Took an Old Lady to See Him Speak

Dear Jake,

I'll be honest.  I was super pleased that you ran with the Haiku thing.  Fantastic!  I laughed throughout and was impressed with your creativity and loyalty to the Haiku tradition.  Very nice.

My senior year at Central College I took a poetry class.  I was hoping to write poetry, but it was all studying poets and their poems.  It was actually way more interesting than I expected and I came across many poems that I enjoyed.  I had to buy an exorbitant amount of books for the class, but it was okay because the books were generally like $5.

There is this poet named Billy Collins that I really loved.  He happened to be the American Poet Laureate in 2005 and he even visited Central.  I went to hear him speak and I loved it.  The guy was almost part stand-up comedian but he had a way of using the most beautiful language to make his jokes.  He didn't take himself as seriously as I felt like many poets did.  He also just appreciated words and his poems were often deep while remaining light.  I am going to share one of his poems and then link to a few more of his.  Take some time and read through them.  It's worth it.

Introduction to Poetry
by Billy Collins

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means

Click the titles below to read more of his poems.

Flames
On Turning Ten
Litany
Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun in the House
Embrace
Child Development

Those are some of them.  There are many more.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

So what about music?  What do you find yourself listening to most lately?

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The Jake Rohde Haiku Collection

Dear Joel,

I am no poet, and I am no comedian. I hope that these do not represent the "funniest" poems of which I'm capable. However, I actually had a blast writing these, so thanks for the assignment.

A funny haiku

for your amusement and joy

Insert punchline here.

You'll quickly realize that some of these are very personal reflections, and that they clearly illustrate how I see the world.

He was without doubt

The dumbest human ever

JUST USE YOUR BLINKER!

Given the hype, I'm not sure the next one is even accurate this year, but it's still funny in my mind.

A new season starts

Everyone has cause for hope

Except for the Cubs

The next one represents a sincere letter from me to you.

Our disagreements

Should not cause strife between us

The dress was blue, black

I looked at the forecast for next week and got excited.

Spring is coming soon

Warm weather makes me happy

But not too warm, please

My brief comments here are largely inserted so that no one thinks that one poem followed by another poem is actually a single poem.

"Go home!" the man yelled

But the runner was thrown out

Bad choice; Series lost

You like bad jokes, right? Here you go.

Each morning at nine

I greet my poetic friend

By saying, "Hi, Ku."

Next we'll re-visit a popular topic from my daily life.

In my opinion

I'm a wonderful driver

Why do others suck?

I hesitated to post this one after writing it. Weird and random, even in my own mind.

The difference between

Three legs and four on a stool

Is only one leg

Here's a haiku inspired by one of my favorite scenes in the Dudley Moore movie, Arthur.

I cannot tell you

Her last name, for that would be

Indiscreet. Johnson.

And finally...

Unbreakable rules

Govern poetry writing

Unless you have more than seven syllables' worth of things to say

So there you have it. Probably 98% of the haikus I've written in my life (I may have had to write 1 or 2 in a high school composition class. I'd love to hear your opinion - do you like any of them? Do you have a favorite?

But my real question is who's your favorite poet? Do you have a favorite poem? What do you like and dislike about poetry?

Publishers - please post a comment below and I will get back to you personally. I'm sure you're chomping at the bit to offer me a contract for a book of poetry.

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If She Goes Down 21,000 Leagues Under the Sea...

Dear Jake,

I have favorite TV shows.  The thing about TV is that there is so many different things being showed that I think you can have multiple favorites.

Thanks to you I am a fan of The West Wing.  It's still my favorite of all time.  I have favorite episodes too.  I think Noel, Game On, and And it's Surely to Their Credit, are a few of my favorite episodes, although seasons 1-4, just about every single episode contains moments that could be my favorite at any given time.

Thanks to West Wing I've become an avid fan of The Newsroom.  This show is famous for it's opening scene where Jeff Daniels (who is fantastic btw) as Will McAvoy goes off on a college student in a public forum explaining why America is no longer the greatest nation in the world, but it could be.  It is classic Aaron Sorkin and it is fantastic throughout.  It rivals The West Wing for me.

In other genres, I have just recently fallen in love with Friends.

I'm a big fan of Dr. Who.  It doesn't compare to most shows, but in the "Joel, you're a complete nerd" genre, this is right up there for first place.

I haven't watched much of it because it's episodes are really long, but Sherlock is tremendous.

Get this, I watch Downton Abbey every single week without fail.  That show truly is a masterpiece.  I've never been so enthralled by a show where nothing ever really happens.  It is an incredible piece of work and for straight up dramas, it ranks up there for me.

There isn't much that beats a Sunday afternoon in late October wearing sweatpants and watching the baseball playoffs while switching back and forth to football.  If those are "TV shows" then they are definitely favorites.

There are shows I think I'd be into as well.  The nerd in me says I'd really get into Game of Thrones.  I've also been told that the 4 episodes of Breaking Bad that I forced myself through aren't enough that I'd fall in love with the show if I could keep going.

Also, there's Shark Tank, which is in a category by itself.  Great show.

I heard that people want us to be funnier on here.  They need to refer to last week's post where I assure them that I'm really the only person that thinks I'm funny.  If they don't think my blog posts are funny then that just goes to show that I'm the only person who really thinks I'm funny.  Why? Because I think that this blog post and every other blog post I've written is freaking hilarious.  I'm rolling on the floor laughing my butt off right now.

I'm going to give you an option that I don't know if you'll like so if you don't want to do it, don't.  Here's my request:  Write the funniest haiku that you can.

Sincerely,
Joel

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